Comparison… The Thief of Joy

Typically when you’re fasting, you draw closer to God, you become more sensitive to his voice, and while not always easy it makes you stronger. However, while listening to a message by Montel Jordan, he also mentioned that fasting shows you things about yourself that you don’t like. With that being said, God has revealed to me one of my biggest issues….jealousy/comparison. Admitting that stings but in order fix a problem, you have to first recognize it is a problem right?

Let’s be honest, at some point in our lives we have all said the phrase “that person is a hater” or “that person is hating on me”. It’s so easy to say when it’s about someone else but what if that hater is you?

A “hater” can be described as; “having anger towards everyone reaching success”. I wouldn’t say I have gone to the extreme of anger but there have been plenty of times I’ve experienced jealousy because someone had something I didn’t have, someone had an experience I’ve always wanted, or just general frustration with someone because I felt they were all around better than I was. However the problem is never them, but me.

Once I realized I had this “hating” mentality, I had to dig deep. I asked God what is it? Why can’t I be happy for someone else’s success? and most importantly why am I choosing to compare myself to them? That’s when he revealed to me, I do these things because I don’t think I’m good enough. And it’s true, sometimes I just don’t think I’m good enough. Sometimes I’m to busy looking at someone else instead of going down the path God has set before me. It isn’t possible to move forward when You’re looking to the right or left.

I’d like to say this great epiphany set me on the road to success immediately but honestly, I’m learning it’s a work in progress. There are days when I look in the mirror and declare “I am a child of God, I am loved and he pleased with me”! But then there are other days when I get consumed by thoughts of comparison.

Honestly, all I can do is throw my hands in the air and worship him in these moments. My favorite worship song as of late, is “Jesus we love you” by Paul McClure. Recently, I had a day where I was consumed with thoughts of comparison and immediately I began singing that song. It felt like a weight was lifted. In that moment, I was able to cry out to him and just give him my heart . Finding a life verse for my situation has also helped. When I have thoughts of bitterness I ask God to please purify my heart. Not only does God love me but he loves all of his children. Everyone has their own calling and that should always be celebrated.

I’ve been sitting on this blog for almost a month now and had trouble finishing it because it is mountain I face daily. However, I think this is something we can all relate to. I’ve committed to allowing God to work through me when it comes to this. If I mess up, I’m not letting guilt consume me. Ultimately I am loved, I am a child of God, and he is pleased with me. That includes you too! You’re loved, you’re a child of God, and he is PLEASED with you just as you are.❤️