Mistaken Identity

Who really gives you your identity? If you’re a believer, I’m sure your quick answer is “God… obviously”. However do you honestly feel this? Do you live everyday as if that is the ultimate truth?

I’m 2013, I graduated from Kennesaw State University as a Communication major with a Media Studies concentration. During my last semester, I was selected to Intern for a radio station. While it was an experience I was blessed to have, it was also one of the most trying times. Today, I look back at that internship thankful for the strength it gave me, but happy that I’m done with that part of my life.

During my internship, I was partnered with two other girls. I enjoyed their company but I could tell radio and every aspect of it was a passion for them while for me, it was just an experience that I felt honored to have. The girls and I answered to our internship manager. Hindsight, I believe my internship manager is a wonderful person, but at the time of my internship she was nothing but intimidating. I felt I could never please her or ask questions without her snapping back. She would constantly remind us that she doesn’t like double work so I felt pressure to get everything right the first time even though it was all so new to me.

I spent countless hours trying to please her but at the same time trying stay out of her way. I walked into my internship everyday fearful of what the day would bring and dreaded the long hours I’d have to spend with her. Mid way through my internship, it was time for our mid internship review. Going into the review, I had no idea she was about to speak words over me that would cause me to question who I was in Christ.

Together, my partners and I sat down to hear about our progress. While I didn’t think I was the best intern, I knew I was trying my hardest to improve daily. One by one she went through and assessed each of us. When it was my turn, she looked me in the eye and told me I was “one dimensional”. Those words stung.

At that point, nothing else she said registered to me. All I could think was “One dimensional? I’m one dimensional”.

One dimensional means “having or showing lack of depth of understanding or character”. What she was telling me was, I had no personality. She didn’t know if I was cut out for it. While she was my internship manager, she didn’t know me personally. What hurt the most, was that she wasn’t assessing my work but telling me who I was as a person.

Today, I am able to look back on that and realize she just didn’t get to know the real me. Unfortunately I didn’t understand that initially and identified myself as a person who lacked personality. I identified myself as someone who people wouldn’t like because I had no depth. I Identified myself as a boring person who had nothing to offer.

While it was such a small comment, it effected my life and relationships. I used those words spoken over me and made assumptions about what people thought of me. Isn’t it interesting that one thing someone speaks over you can effect your whole life? I’m sure my internship manager had no idea how much those words were going to effect me but they did and sometimes still do.

Sadly, we all get words spoken over us that aren’t truly who God says we are. Without realizing it, we allow these words to effect our past, present, and future. For example, have you ever been interested in pursuing a passion but didn’t move forward because you felt you weren’t good enough? Who told you that? Who told you can’t pursue something because of lack. Surly this didn’t come from God!

I now know that my internship coordinator doesn’t get to decide who Jannetta is. God gives me my identity! I am reminded of Jeremiah 1:5;

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations”.

As hard as it is. I’m learning to apply this to my life now. I’m not lacking anything! God knows me and I’m set apart. He knew exactly what he was doing when he formed me in mother’s womb.

Yesterday, I listened to a message from one of my favorite pastors, Robert Madu. He taught me something that I believe can help those with a mistaken identity. He said, daily look in the mirror and remind yourself “I’m loved, I’m a child of God, and he is pleased with me”. Guess what I did this morning? I looked right in the mirror and spoke those words-God’s words over myself. That’s what you have to do. Find scripture that says who you are in Christ. Speak those scriptures over your life daily, the next time the devil or any other person tries to tell you who you’re NOT, remind them you’re loved, you’re a child of God, and he is pleased with you!