Health Journey; “While I’m not physically where I want to be, mentally I am in the best place I have ever been”.

Quiet frequently I loved to talk about my health journey on my blog. The first blog I ever posted was a kick start to getting me in the best shape I had ever been physically. Since then working out and living a healthy lifestyle has been so important to me. In June 2020 things quickly changed. I was eating healthier than ever and working out daily. But soon I would find out I was pregnant with my daughter.

Of course with pregnancy comes a plethora of physical changes to your body which include weight gain. When I say this weight gain was the happiest weight gain I’ve ever experienced, I truly mean it. My sweet girl was growing inside of me. When I birthed her, I watched my body transform in several different ways. I marveled in the fact that it could produce milk for my baby, I was shocked at how fast most of my pregnancy symptoms went away, and I was mesmerized to see it go back to normal (somewhat). I was so beyond grateful for my body. In those moments, I knew more than anything there is a God.

That being said, physically I’m still not where I’d like to be after pregnancy. All the weight I worked overtime to lose came back as if I never hit the gym 5-6 times a week. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. To this day I still enjoy working out and eating healthy however, the weight isn’t coming off as fast as I would like it too. While it’s been hard to adapt to my body, my husband opened my eyes to something that has helped me change my perspective.

I remember one day we were driving home and I was browsing through old photos of myself at the beach. I was glowing, fit, and in the best shape. Frustratingly I showed my husband the photos saying “look how skinny and fit I was”. With ease my husband responded saying “okay, you might have been more “fit” back then but aren’t you happier with who you are right now”? As dramatic at this may sound I gasped at his question. He was so right! Even though I was skinnier then, mentally I was riddled with anxiety. I remember the day I took those photos. I was just a few weeks into my pregnancy and I was panicking. That day I cried nonstop because I would constantly worry about my pregnancy. Even outside of pregnancy, I worried about everything, I was never content, and felt trapped mentally.

Now, I’m in the best place I have ever been mentally. I’m not riddle with anxiety, I’m not stuck in worry, and I am completely content with the life God has given me. He was right. While I’m not physically where I want to be, mentally I am in the best place I have ever been… even better than my “skinnier” self.

For me, this was just a reminder to accept the body that God has given me. It was just a reminder that my mental health far outweighs what I look like on the outside. I am so grateful for my husband’s words because it changed the way I thought about myself. While I will continue to workout and eat healthy, I will also learn to love this little extra weight. Instead of trying to fit back in my old clothes, I will find new clothes that fit and help me feel confident. Instead of looking in the mirror and picking apart my thighs, stomach, and arms. I will remember the miracle God created inside of me (and how it served me through pregnancy). Instead of wishing I looked like the women I was in those old photos, I will learn to be thankful for the mentally free woman I am today and enjoy this 2022 beach body below!